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  • Kelly Marks

Reality

I just had to do something that is absolutely ridiculous. I forwarded a blog to my daughter. Not one of mine, but one I had read earlier. I asked her to read it all the way through. I reminded her that I don’t normally send her things to read. I told her I hate sending her an assignment, but in this case I love her too much not to. I explained that the subject of this blog is why she probably views her parents as freaks, or one of the reasons anyway.


The blog post that I sent was from Sean Dietrich, and his blog called Sean of the South. He’s an amazing writer. In fact, he’s so good he makes me question my ability to write. He tells his stories of everyman and more often than not, I tear up as I read the heart and soul that he puts in his writing.


The post I sent to Madi was entitled Eliza’s Run. Dietrich tells of standing in the early morning on Saturday in Birmingham, AL, with other people, runners and non-runners, to finish Eliza’s run. Eliza Fletcher is the 34-year-old kindergarten teacher, wife, mother, daughter, friend, who was abducted and murdered in Memphis last week.


Obviously I didn’t know Eliza, but because she was a wife, mother, teacher, I know she gave herself, her time, her energy, her love to those around her. She most likely gave tirelessly. Running was probably what she did for herself. It’s how she took care of herself so she could continue to take care of others. I say this because this is a profile of so many women, dare I say most women in the world. But as a woman, there are even parameters around taking care of oneself.


I remember hearing for the first time that parents who have children of color always have a talk with them, especially males. Almost all families have a talk about the birds and the bees, but if you are a person of color, you have a talk about the police. How to behave. What to do and what not to do.


We need to have a similar talk with all females. What to do. What not to do. It shouldn’t be this way for color or gender or any other factors. But it is. So while it’s not fair, that’s the way it is.


Embroiled comedian CK Louis did a routine once about the fact that the #1 killer for men is heart disease; the #1 killer for women is MEN. I know. Not ALL men; I’m painting with a broad stroke. But if a woman dies, it’s typically the spouse, and if it’s not the spouse, the police rarely issue a BOLO for another woman.


So I sent the post to Madi because she most likely doesn’t get it. She has been fortunate enough to have amazing male figures in her life; she lives in a nice neighborhood in a safe part of town. And I know that doesn’t guarantee safety, but sometimes it does make us blind to the potential dangers that are always there. While I don’t want to make her paranoid or suspicious of everyone, I don’t want her to believe that the way it SHOULD be is the way it IS.




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